Wednesday, November 25, 2009

...I made a blog?

Okay I joined the club. Mostly because I'm at work and I don't have anyone to spout random thoughts, phrases, words (not usually just one word), and/or dance moves to. Apparently it's cool to have a blog... So I'm now officially cool. I have accomplished the purpose in my life- what about you?
On the anyway... I was thinking about how procrastinatory I am. (yes- one of my random words- figure it out.) and decided that it's like this: (I should have a chart or some sort of spreadsheet- I'm obsessed with spreadsheets now- ever since I've taken my Advanced Excel class- I have them for everything. really.)

For Example- The life-cycle of a semester:

Several weeks before school: Registration- I'm SO on top of that. I'm excited to scratch one more semester off my neverending graduation requirements. The more credits- the better- usually around 16.

About 2 weeks before school: BOOKS- aka devulge your life savings into a stack of papers you will never use in class and will sell back at the end of this not-using-them fest for 1/4 of your life savings. The End. That's all I have. Although I do use some of my books- and good thing? I'm SO on schedule. CHECK!

First week of the semester: Classes- I've got my books, backpack, my binder all organized with each class having it's own divider and folder- any and all syllabus are placed in their proper folder. My planner is filled out in relation to due dates. Professors names and numbers are on speed dial on my phone and in my email address book (not really- I'm not a STALKER- okay maybe I am- but only on Facebook) I'm SO good... that's right. Pat on the back for me. This is going to be a GREAT semester... THEN...

About week 4: Bring on the Assignments- I'm pretty sure professors coordinate in their secret lair.

(Setting: Somewhere in the underground tunnels at your preferred university)

Professor A: What should we do today to give the little children an overabundance of stress today?
Professor B: Hmm... I am behind my quota on sending students out due to stress induced ulcers...
Professor A: I know! We can have all of our projects due at the SAME TIME! Perfect!

And that's how it goes-- it's all there is to it. They like it. Thus the cycle begings... Students staying up all hours to finish projects... keeping the computer lab open with their cries for mercy... and last of all the thing that teachers loath most of all .... Excuses. I once heard from a very wise Vehicle Coordinator on my mission "Excuses are..." I can't remember- but really it was something like "Don't make excuses for going over on your miles..." but in reality we had a valid reason for going over... Really. Where was I going with that? Oh yes...Application? People don't like excuses and especially teachers. The end. So... the solution? Brown nosing. Yes I know it sounds unethical- but it's true. Teachers love it when you offer to help... when you tell them how good they are doing... and when you act organized (something I'm apparently good at) ... and when you go to class. I have learned this, especially this semester, that even though the teacher says "attendance is not required" and the syllabus says "attendance is not required"- it secretly is. They have secret meetings and then you end up with a grade that makes you angry on a Tuesday night and you can't even drive to the meeting you have that night so your roommate has to drive then you end up eating ice cream while watching "Biggest Loser". It's fine.

By the end of this panicked state I have moved on to what is called the "finish-2-weeks-worth-of-work-in-1-day" stage. It happens several times a semester. It's fine. I usually come out doing alright... and sometimes better than alright. Usually... by the time the semester's over and I would be in the "finishing" stages-- which includes the common disease: "ready-to-be-done-itis"- things are back to nomal and the whole cycle starts all over again...

So now I'm off to work on my spreadsheet of next semester's class schedule

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