Monday, February 22, 2010

...I was not quite sick?

The last few mornings I've woken up with a man-voice. I don't mind- in fact I kind of like it. Something different than my usual girl-voice. Sometimes you just get tired of hearing yourself- it's nice to change. But really, this man-voice is most annoying because it is accompanied by a slight throat tickle (you know the kind you can't quite get out by coughing?) but not really a cough, and a runny nose. But here's the deal: I still feel well enough to go out and do things. I don't feel sick enough that I have an excuse to take advantage of the millions of signs on campus that say "Feeling sick? Stay home! We will excuse you from class, tests, anything just to not get us sick! Please!" (paraphrased of course) So mostly my wish this week is to either just be sick and get it over with-- or to just get all the way better. Body- it's up to you. I've given you the choices- now hurry up and decide before I do something drastic like cut off my nose so it won't drip anymore ;) So get on that anti-bodies! No more being lazy! It'd be greatly appreciated.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Monday, February 15, 2010

...Valentines day was the greatest? I miss those days.

Let me take you on a journey... I'll play the part of the "Ghost of Valentines Past". Ready?

When I was in Elementary School the "Day of Love" was great! There was some good times making those awesome boxes (and the one kid who's mom made it all amazing while yours looked like a 4 year old did it because the glue wouldn't stick... grrr).

Of course, the ceremonial going through the cute puppy or superhero Valentines to make sure you didn't give "I think you're cute, Valentine" to any boys, and the best ones with 2 Boxes of Nerds went to your BFF. It was a careful selection process- making sure to match up each name to a particular valetine. Quite complex if I do say so myself... (remember I was a gifted child ;))

Then the day of distribution arrives. You once again check to make sure names and valentines are matched up correctly, with a few extra generic ones- just in case ("Happy Valentines Day!" or "You're a pal!").

The boxes set up in a row on each desk (Darn kid with the mom who did his-- of course I'm sitting next to him with my 4-year-old box!) and you slowly move from box to box carefully making sure each gets the appropriate card and a candy (exept for the BFF that gets 2). As you walk around you keep an eye on yours to make sure no one is forgetting to put a card, and taking note of who has the best candy so you can be sure to trade your extra boxes of Nerds (or the billions of Dum-dums and Smarties you are bound to get). At last the moment has arrived to check out the loot. Aside from the Dum-dums and smarties- it's pretty good. And really- even if you can't trade the bad stuff- you figure you can always use it to bribe the younger sibs, who don't know any better, to do things for you (don't deny it! you know you did it!). Heading home there is satisfaction in your heart for another great Valentines Day. You feel the love of the day.

Those were good times...

Dear Future,

Please bless I marry someone who will get me superhero valentines with the good kinds of candy (Twix, Junior Mints, and Dark Chocolate Hershey Bars) on February 14th- No flowers. That's all I want. That'd be great! Thanks!

Monday, February 8, 2010

...Jillian Michaels and I were like THIS?

Okay... Confession: Jillian and I are BFF's- usually. At least I see her daily- more than my real BFFs sometimes. That's all... really. So in honor of this BFFness here are some of my favorite quotes from her.

"You think you can handle this? Yeah? Well... we'll see..."
"To help me out here I've got two of my BEST girls..."
"Push that tailbone INTO the wall behind you"
"and breath. Up and breath..."
"...It's bad for the knees"
"Look at those abs... I'd do just about anything to get it"
"Remember to keep your knees at a 90 degree angle. I don't want to see any of this..."
"Push, and push, and push"
"Only a few more" (she lies. It's really alot more)
"In case you're a little less flexible, like me"
"I want to hear you screaming, panting, and grunting"
"You should be floating off the ground"
"For those of you looking for a modified version of a jumping jack I'm not going to give it to you... I've got 400 lb people who can do jumping jacks"
"You're strong now"

Saturday, February 6, 2010

...some things shouldn't be for forever?

When I was little my favorite movie was the old Gene Wilder "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory". The Umpa Loompas didn't even scare me (a miracle if you would have known that I was scared of the Terror-ride at Lagoon and I went through it with my eyes closed/ears plugged. Haven't gone through it since- but I have overcome my fear of the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland... mostly.This parenthesis getting really out of control so this is a topic for another time.) and how great is the line: "Violet, you're turning violet, Violet!"?

Anyway- imagine my sheer joy in finding out that there is, in fact, an Everlasting Gobstopper (which I might have eaten entirely too many of with Sister Anderson in Canby. Delicious!)! In contrast- imagine the disappointment when I find out they truly aren't "everlasting" as they advertise. (it's fine though- After much prayer and counseling I've accepted it. I'm not bringing back fresh wounds.) What's so great about "everlasting" anyway? Why was it so amazingly awesome to have a candy that lasts forever? (In fact, thinking about it- it's kind of gross) Well, I think the concept of anything sustaining a really really really long time is kind of exciting- until I look at things that I do NOT wish would last forever. Examples:

*Laundry. Seriously? How does it pile up so fast? Maybe I'll boycott clothes for a while...and Maybe I won't. Someone HAS to come up with a better solution so I don't have to do it so often! And while you're at it... figure out a way I don't have to fold or hang up things. That would be great. Thanks.

*Homework. No Bueno. Really it's not necessarily just the homework. I can handle that. It's the Midterms (all at the same time of course), group projects (does NOT play well with others), and random surprise requirements teachers feel to inflict upon us poor students- because they think it's funny. We want that piece of paper sooo bad- and they know we'll do anything for it. Including, staying up all night for 3 nights in a row just to finish a paper. I'd better stop before it gets out of control.

*Exercising. Sometimes I don't want to go to bed- so I don't have to wake up- so I don't have to work out. That is all.

*Oil Changes. It's too cold to do it myself (Marketable skill right there! Yes, I can do it myself- thanks, Briant) so I have to pay someone else to do it- every 3 months. For FOREVER! Really just car maintenance in general... Cars should just work for forever- without the maintenance of forever. :)

So really? What's so great about things that are "everlasting"? Sometimes... it's too long. I'd better go put some laundry in so I can have clothes for after my workout so I can study for a test I have to take today before going for an oil change and a tire swap.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

...Guys liked girls with skills?

"...You know, like nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills... Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills."
-Nalopleon Dynamite




That's right, Napoleon and I can only assume it would be the same the other way around. We call these "Marketable Skills".


So, even though I might need to brush up on the Nunchuck skills, and my bowhunting skills aren't what they used to be- I might have some skills of my own. I'm about to share one such skill with you as I did last night with my roommates on our way home from WalMart

It all began when I worked at the local grocery story from the time I was 16 until I left on my mission at 21. I picked up some pretty awesome skills at good old Maceys. I made some amazing friends I still love, I can 10-key my way out of anything, and I'm pretty sure I did fairly well in a few bagging competitions in the day. The best skill I picked up was how to tie a bag. Nothing you say? Well check this out:

video

Double knots, Thank you. I'm just sayin'... Guys like girls with skills. Marketable Skills.

Monday, February 1, 2010

...Joey had a sister?

I think Joey's sister is much cuter- Although her head might have fallen off overnight. It's fine though. Her name is Petunia and she is red velvet cake. Do you see the family resemblance? Me either.