…And by the time Barbie was 18 she had a husband (Ken of course- Fun Shavin’ Ken was the best) and 3 kids (including a full-grown adult Barbie doll as the oldest, the medium sized Kelly as the middle child, and a plastic haired little baby Barbie- sometimes substituted with Lego people. I never had a Skipper.) If 16 is old… and by 18 I should have all of life’s necessities- by that I mean a dream house, a husband, 3 kids, qualifications for several jobs (including doctor, lawyer, dentist, and circus animal trainer)- I must have really failed at life.
So in order to make myself feel better for turning 24 today I’ve decided to make a list (I should add “making lists” to my list of obsessions) of accomplishments in my life. Starting from the beginning:
1- Being born on MLK, Jr.’s Birthday- or maybe he was lucky to be born on MINE. Really and just being born in general. It’s tough stuff. (Confession: When I was little I thought I was born on a king’s birthday. It’s true)
2- Learning to walk
3- Learning to read (and by the ripe old of age of 3, I might add. Laura Ingalls Wilder was my author of choice by the age of 5.)
4- Graduating from 2 different preschools (I was just that smart- see above)
5- Finally figuring out what my “Jaw bone” was in Kindergarten- as well as learning to count past 100… 101, 102,103, 104, 105…
6- Being a pretty slick jump roper back in the day. I was tough to beat with my amazing “Teddy Bear” routine- complete with ”tying” my shoes and turning off the light.
7- 4th grade. State Geography Bee. Need I say more? Except all I got was a free pair of skiing tickets—LAAAAMME (for a 10 year old) I sold them to my neighbor for a whopping $30. Hello Easy Bake Oven!
8- Being the cool kid on the block in the Home school group. It’s true… not even lying.
9- Taking quilting 6 times in High School… maybe I liked that class. Don’t judge- just remember #8.
10- Receiving the Guide Dogs for the Blind Youth Scholarship
11- “The Music Man” Chorus member. “Trouble. With a capitol T. That rhymes with P. and that stands for POOOOOOOOLLLL!”
12- Decided that my top favorite musical of all time is Bye Bye Birdie.
13- Took a year and a half of French. Only to remember “Je suis ananana” translated to mean “I am a pineapple”
14- Graduating High School; Graduation- Thumbs down. Diploma- Thumbs up. Awesome tassel made from yellow yarn- priceless. (true story)
15- Being able to tell the different *NSYNC member by their voice. (Tested my skills a few weeks ago. I still got it. BSB I was mostly good. 98* Semi good)
16- Musical genius that I am… 14 years of piano lessons, 3 years of flute (I quit because it was too easy), and learning to play the harmonica and the kazoo all on my own (not at the same time) and I can still play all of them competently.
17- Raising 8 Guide Dog Puppies… 2 working Guide Dogs (Judith and Maryjo), 4 Career Changes (Vinnie, Novak, Cessna, and Marcella), and 2 in the undecided stages (Monet and Joaquin). P.S. I might be a nerd. But it’s fine. I will NEVER be a crazy dog lady- my limit is 2.
18- Never once getting a cavity.
19- One word: Braces.
20- Passing Math 1030 with an almost A.
21- Serving in the most amazing mission ever. OPM!!
22- Learning ASL. Kind of forced on me by #18 but I love it anyway.
23- Becoming an interpreter even after I swore I never would after a semester in the Program at SLCC… Good thing #18 and #19 happened.
24- Blowing 3 head gaskets in 5 years- and two of them in one day. Impossible you say? I say nay. Don’t worry… no more shall I wait so long for an oil change.
25- Attending EFY 4 times as a participant and 1 time attending YFE in Nauvoo, ILL which leads to #20
26- Being an EFY counselor. Getting 3 hours of sleep every night, walking at least 6 miles a day, dancing for 3 hours 2 times a week, eating the same food every day for 8 weeks including pizza/junk food every Wednesday night until you want to be sick, trying to pump up 30-50 teenagers who sometimes don’t want to be there- can I just say BEST JOB EVER!
27- Associates Degree. I make fun of it- but it’s a mile marker and now I have a real tassel (that’s not made out of yarn) like the cool kids to hang in my rearview mirror.
28- 2 weeks ago I folded my clothes right after they came out of the dryer. Not so for last week… or this week.
29- Jillian Michaels 30 day shred. This one time I did the whole thing and didn’t want to die after. I wish that was a daily occurrence- usually I want to die after. Its fine.
30- Making it to 24. The End.
Take all that, put it on a pink serving tray, cut it into nice appetizer size pieces, put a napkin in your lap, and eat it, Barbie.